- the queer horror/thriller I supposedly wrote - by the great folks at
Sizzler/Renaissance E Books, here's a fun little interview I did with
another "M. Christian" about the book:
2 For Me and Me for 2:
An Interview with two M. Christians
Tape Begins
M.Christian 1: So I’ve finally apprehended you, foul fiend!
M.Christian 2: What the hell are you talking about? I caught you!
MC1:
There’s no denying it: you’re the wretched scoundrel who’s been
impersonating me, writing books under my name, soiling my creative
reputation, attempting to profit by using my name –
MC2:
Hold it right there, buddy! I don’t know what kind of twisted game
you’re playing but you’re the one who’s been copying me, ripping off my
name –
MC1: Liar! J'accuse! It is you who have stolen
my identity, my very existence, and sought to supplant me as the
rightful owner to the life of ‘M.Christian!’
MC2: You’re freaking nuts!
MC1:
No, sir, it is you who is the clearly unbalanced one. To even attempt
such a reckless and audacious act reveals a tentative grasp of reality.
MC2:
Look, you clearly need some kind of professional help: hardcore
therapy, some good meds, maybe even a straight jacket. What I don’t get
is why you even bothered to try and steal my name. It’s not like I’m a
damned Stephen King or anything. I’m not worth very much. Hell, it’s not
like you really needed to be me anyway. You’re a crook, okay, but
you’re still a damned good writer. I really hate to say it but
Me2
is a really good read. If you just hadn’t been so damned stupid to try
and take my name away from me, you might have been able to make a real
one for yourself.
MC1: Devil! Miscreant! How
contemptible you are. How arrogant! Not only do you attempt the theft of
my existence but now you play the game of mock sincerity and even
praise your own impersonation. Well, sir, I think that the evidence of
your crime is written on the very pages you try to pass off as my work.
Agreed, the novel Me2 is the work of a writer with no small amount of
talent but it is clearly not a subject matter that I, the true and real
M.Christian, would ever create. For example, just look at the following
text featured on the back of the current edition: “He looks just like
you. He acts exactly like you. He takes away your job. He steals your
friends. He seduces your lover. Every day he becomes more and more like
you, pushing you out of your life, taking away what was yours … until
there’s nothing left. Where did he come from? Robot? Alien? Clone?
Doppelganger? Evil twin? Long lost brother? A shocking new view of queer
identity,
Me2 is a groundbreaking and wildly twisted
novel that you’ll remember for a long time – no matter who you are, or
who you think you may be.” That, sir, is not a book that the real
M.Christian would ever deem to write.
MC2: Forget the
pills and straight jacket, it’s a nice rubber-walled accommodation for
you, buddy: you’re the one who wrote the damned book. But one thing
you’re right about,
Me2 sure isn’t something I would
write. Sure it’s got a real interesting theme and all: existence,
identity, the horror of losing who you are, of not only being replaced
by a copy but even one who does a better damned job of living your life
than you ever could. Yeah, it’s got an interesting and very readable
style, even though it’s dealing with a lot of weird crap, but it sure
isn’t something I would do.
MC1: Again you distort the
truth of the situation. Curse you, impostor! I have worked for too many
years to build up what I can only hope is a moderately respected
literary career only to have to try to co-opt all my hard-won successes
for your nefarious ends. I will fight you with every fiber of my being,
thief! I am the one and the only M.Christian. I am the author of more
than 400 short stories in such anthologies as Best American Erotica,
Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, and many, many other fine
publications. Only I am the editor of 20 anthologies such as
The Burning Pen, Guilty Pleasures, The Mammoth Book of Future Cops, The Mammoth Book of Tales of the Road (both Mammoth books with Maxim Jakubowksi), and
Confessions, Garden of the Perverse, and
Amazons (with Sage Vivant). I, and I alone, am the author of over nine collections – including
Dirty Words, Speaking Parts, The Bachelor Machine, and
Filthy Boys – and the novels
Running Dry, The Very Bloody Marys, Brushes, and
Finger's Breadth. You, sir, can never take that away from me!
MC2:
God, you are a complete and total fruitloop, aren’t you? You’d have to
be to sit there and rattle off my writing credits as yours. I tell ya if
you weren’t such a 98-pound weakling, I’d be tempted to drive you into
the ground like a tent peg. But since you are, I’m just going to keep
reminding myself that you’re a little loose, brain-wise, and try not to
take you too seriously. For God’s sake you don’t need to pretend to be
me to get your name out there. Like I said,
Me2 is a
damned good book. Take the way you knock out all the usual explanations
-- robot, alien, clone, doppelganger, evil twin, long lost brother – and
offer up a totally unique explanation, and then totally screw with the
idea of who the main character is. I tell you, I hate to say this, but
it was quite brilliant. And then there’s the way you use humor as well
as horror … you don’t need to pose as me: you could be right up there
with me (if I’m even ‘up there’ to begin with) with a little work.
MC1:
Is there no end to your infamy? Is there no depth to your depravity?
How contemptible you are to stand there and claim to be the one, true,
original M. Christian and then to compliment yourself for the work that
you, yourself, created! The audacity! Beyond the insult to my person,
however, is the loathing I feel for you for what you have done, in my
name, to people I thought I could claim to be friends, associates ..
people I respected. How did you manage to deceive so many people that
you were myself? People who were not familiar with me or my work I could
understand but to trick such luminaries as Felice Picano and Michael
Thomas Ford … that is beyond fraud, bordering on evil criminality. Just
look at what you tricked them into writing about this book you have
written under my name. Lisabet Sarai, of Incognito and Fire fame says:
“Absolutely brilliant. M. Christian explores the meaning of identity and
humanity in a generic world where literally everything can be
manufactured -- a world frighteningly like our own.” Art & Sex in
Greenwich Village author Felice Picano writes: “
Me2 is a
unique and always entertaining fable-novel about what exactly identity
may entail and how we may or may not decide whether it's worth the price
of keeping it.” Mari Adkins contributing editor, Apex Science Fiction
and Horror Digest, says “M. Christian has a delightful, marvelously
twisted way with words which cause his narratives to crawl beneath your
skin and fester there, making you go back for more. He writes with a
strong, unique voice which is not only entertaining but also makes you
think, makes you ponder the improbable. You'll think you've read this
delicious, fast-paced story, but did you? Or was it you?” And Full
Circle and Changing Tides author Michael Thomas Ford writes "With
delicious slyness, M. Christian creates a world in which the familiar
becomes sinister and the comfort of daily routine is replaced by a
growing sense of dread. His modern parable lays bare the all-too-real
dangers inherent in the sacrifice of individuality in the pursuit of
cultural homogenization.” I say again, and with heightened furor: how
dare you, sir!
MC2: Okay, that’s it. I’ve had enough of you … you … damned copycat.
MC1: Is this it then? Are you so cowardly you resort to brute antagonism, simple violence?
MC2: You damned well started this – but I’m gonna finish it.
MC1: Unhand me, I say! I warn you, Sir, I was quite the pugilist in my day. Do not force me to defend myself.
MC2: Put ‘em up, you thief!
MC1: Have at you, sir!
MC2: Crook!
MC1: Plagiarist!
MC2: Jerk!
MC1: Rogue!
MC2: Bastard!
MC1: You leave my mother out of this, reprobate!
MC2: Prick!
MC1: Degenerate!
Tape Ends
